Hi VIPs,
This month’s acceptance essay is on community, specifically the strange, wondrous, occasionally messy intimacy of queer friendships. I’m thinking a lot about this as my wedding day approaches, the people we choose, the people we never could’ve imagined would still be there for us today. It’s humbling and sweet. Thank you, as always, for reading.—Anna
It was almost midnight. Kelsey and I were on my purple Craigslist couch, which sagged in the middle, pressing the outsides of our thighs together in a welcome intimacy. We’d been watching hours of Love Island, a British Bachelor-esque show in which beautiful, tanned twenty-somethings compete for love (and cash) while drinking, fretting, and hurling themselves down inflatable slides.
I’d been single for a year at that point and nothing made me feel more single than watching reality television shows about dating. During one of Love Island’s aptly targeted antidepressant commercials, I made a tipsy—is there any other?—decision to hurl myself down the inflatable slide of online dating (again).
I downloaded an app that I hadn’t used in a decade, and was suddenly face to face with the existential vortex that is the “About Me” section. I stared at the blank box. Typed some bland adjectives. Erased them. Tried again.
“Hopeful romantic.” (Eh.)
“Can cook four meals adequately.” (Hardly worth bragging about.)
“Fun-loving!” (As opposed to fun-hating?)
I threw the phone down, ready to give up before the antidepressant commercial was finished listing its side effects, when Kelsey began to freestyle about me.
“You like unlikely animal friendships. You like brainstorming domme names. You want someone to return your texts,” they began. I looked at them. The whites of their teeth flickered in the glow of the TV screen as they smiled.
“You like big breakfasts. You have a special laugh for fart jokes. You tend to date people from Minnesota. The greatest moment of your life was posing with the giant boot at the Mall of America L.L. Bean. Your favorite food is Totino’s party pizzas. You can identify five plants at Lake Merritt.”