An infinite succession of presents
This was supposed to be a roundup
Well. This was supposed to be my usual monthly roundup.
With creativity links and thoughtful asides and joyful internet randomness, but I don’t have it in me this time.
But I told the gods of capitalism that I’d share some free books with you, so I am. (It’s at the end if you want to skip this part.) If escapism is your coping mechanism, then may it bring a small dose of relief.
It feels like everything is on hold now—plans, dreams, living our damn lives in peace and dignity. I know that sounds dramatic and of course we’ll still do our laundry and eat and hold each other and do our jobs because we have to.
Life was far from a utopia before but now it barely feels possible to imagine something better.
And the hate bots and the trolls have sprung from their internet caves to shout that women don’t have rights over their own bodies and sling racial slurs and gay slurs and other hateful rhetoric.
So, great—four more years of this? Ten? A lifetime?
I’ve been writing novels these last few years, trying to get a foothold back into living creatively while also not being impoverished, but now it all seems so stupid. Yeah, James Baldwin quote, Toni Morrison quote, I know, this is when artists “go to work”—I said it too! I’m guilty!
But it’s impossible to run a marathon when you’re being punched in the stomach and this feels a lot like that.
I hope that those of you who’ve been struggling have found small comforts over the past week. Books and friends and music and nature and coffee and sedatives—whatever’s getting you through.
I hope that you’ve found moments of solace and comfort and joy amidst the uncertainty.
To that end, here are some things that have brought me a little happiness this week:
Haymarket Books giving away 10 free ebooks on resistance, including Rebecca Solnit’s Hope in the Dark, which I impatiently bought in paperback yesterday because I couldn’t wait. (Use a private browser, otherwise it won’t work.)
The Post-it compliment I stuck on my friend’s bathroom mirror years ago that’s still up.
Hugging my cat until he gets annoyed and then hugging him one second longer
All the friends who texted and checked in on me and sent random capybara videos
Libraries
This quote from Thunder Song by Sasha LaPointe (which I read for free from the aforementioned miracle that is the library):
Outnumbered isn’t over, isn’t hopeless. Outnumbered just means the world as they knew it was changing. Perhaps [Chief Seattle] believed if he could change with it, there would be a chance of survival.
And this:
There is something to learn from indigenous ways of thinking that has to do with courage and resilience, because even in the face of attempted genocide, of erasure, we descendants are still here.
Bathroom cabinet organization as a love language
Those of you who responded kindly to my last newsletter. Thank you!
The first sip of hot coffee on a cold morning
The phrase “100 and crazy percent” (Thanks Russell Nohelty)
Trying to make a hippo origami for a friend and it came out looking like a winged frog with no back legs
Forgetting, then remembering I had leftovers so didn’t have to cook
FINALLY DEACTIVATING TWITTER
This quote from Alexander Chee (h/t to Esmé Weijun Wang for sharing):
If you are reading this, and you’re a writer, and you, like me, are gripped with despair, when you think you might stop: Speak to your dead. Write for your dead. Tell them a story. What are you doing with this life?
Let them hold you accountable. Let them make you bolder or more modest or louder or more loving, whatever it is, but ask them in, listen, and then write. And when war comes—and make no mistake, it is already here—write for the living too.
The bell peppers in our tiny garden are turning yellow
My wife asking, “Am I turned on or do I just have to pee?”
Episodes of Abbott Elementary
Those first few blissful seconds of waking up before you remember
The few slim rays of light from this election, including abortion access, minimum-wage wins, and paid sick leave
The Android phone my friend sent me solely so I could use a hearing loss app. (It’s Live Transcribe and it’s better than every other one I’ve tried, and it’s not available on iPhones.)
Going to a dinner where no phones were allowed, but being allowed to use my phone for disability reasons. (This has never happened before.)
This quote by Howard Zinn:
To be hopeful in bad times is based on the fact that human history is not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act.
And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand Utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.
Donating $25 to Tewa Women United, to the ACLU, the Trans Law Center, the Trevor Project, and any organization combatting Project 2025 (like the National Urban League)
The person we met only twice, years ago, offering their phone number and saying “call anytime if you need to talk”
What about you? What’s helping you go on?
The two camps I’m seeing the most in the “what the fuck do we do now” vein are comfort and confront.
The “slow down, get off your phone, remember to eat” folks and the “here’s how we mobilize and act!” folks.
We need both. We need the caretakers (and that includes taking care of ourselves) and the ones with an action plan.
It’s okay to feel shitty. It’s okay not to force yourself to do more than you’re capable of. This week I barely did anything. I could barely do anything.
It’s okay to mourn. We’re grieving an America we thought we knew. (At least the more idealistic among us.)
This isn’t what we wanted to do. It’s not how we wanted to spend our days and years. But it’s what we have to do now, for the foreseeable future.
We need both the power to comfort and the courage to confront. It’s essential to recognize our strengths and wield them in service to the greater good.
This isn’t just a choice; it’s a necessity. We must step forward with awareness, our eyes open to the challenges we face and the contributions we can make.
Yet, we also have to remain attuned to the bits of beauty, joy, and resilience that surround us always (if we look for it).
And here’s those free books
Love in the Breakroom - Our Favorite Workplace Romance Novels to Devour